So, women, am I right? Other than using the same hook as every white man podcast episode, which, too, is an overused joke, women are something I love very much. But in that sunset way. That sapphic way. That's right, Nephro's a lesbian, and here, I discuss it a bit, but not in a very serious way. No, I talk about the crushes I had as a kid. Jokes on you, that's the entire bit.
So it all started with an internet connection, as all things do, and that is not to blame the web for my rampant lesbianism, but rather, for making it a lot funnier in the long run. And then I search up a list of Sonic games because that was my interest at the time. And then I go to look at Sonic Fighters or whatever the full name of it was. And while on my info searching, I find out about an (at the time, at least) unused character, fully designed, half implemented. Honey the Cat. I have no idea of the full scope of what seeing Honey the Cat did to me, but oh my fucking god, she was an awakening. Instant obsession with her, THE Nephro childhood crush.
Of course, I wasn't at the age where sexuality fully bloomed, so I wasn't thinking of anything nasty involving this unused Honey. However, I did have that childhood sense of love, collecting some amount of images of her, and roleplaying as a fan-character of her sister online. I still haven't grown out of loving fictional characters, obviously, but at the time, it was a much smaller love than now.
Another interesting part of my younger girlcrushes was that Pokemon had about the other half of the effect on it. I grew up with Gen 4 and a bit of 5, and I hope that this doesn't make me sound like a freak, but Froslass being my main slot-1 pokemon in whatever games I could obtain her in was not a coincidence. Same with Gothitelle in Gen 5. And to get started on the actual human characters that won't get garbage thrown at you if you talk about them in sensitive ways -- Valerie, the first fairy type Gym leader? Ohhhh my fucking god. Cute. Cute. She's intentionally cute, but cute. Very cute!
Oh, and for even worse things to talk about, and for lack of a suitable word for it -- my comphet or whatever the cool kids call "wanting a nonexistant man when you would rather real women" -- Taranza from the Kirby series. Now, this is one I latched onto for years. I bought the Taranza plush in 8th grade and carried it in my bag, visible, my comfort item and security blanket for over a year. I have no idea what the fuck happened. Over 5 years, I had that crush on Taranza. And I actually wasn't very open with it except for the first and maaaybe last year. And all of that internet history is absolutely gone by now. But he does share some of the common traits with other men lesbians seem to like -- androgyny, long hair, gentlemanly personality. He just registers to me as standard cute now, but oh boy, I was going insane back then.
And all of this disgustingness for fictional creatures with womanly attirbution might make one wonder -- when did I realize I liked girls?
Well. Last year, actually. After I started dating one. Three months into the relationship.
I'm sorry, women.