After that stupor, things faded to normal, for the most part. It forever has felt like a chunk has been ripped off of my dough after my meeting with the divine, but I someday wish to reclaim it. Days went on, and I couldn't let myself linger on that missing piece. I followed those days, and travelled with time.
But today, I found my heart frozen in time, glancing over to my right while pretending to be focused on what was in my lap. I only intended to visit the offshoot of the Temple reserved as a small library to find materials on that sacred meeting, but today, it seemed like somebody else was, too, away from their intended place. Her hands were scarcely ever reaching beyond the slight yellow of the ends of her sleeves, which looked soft as a seabed, but what I saw was a womanly finger or three, reaching to grasp something else on the shelf. Her nails were plain, with a slight sheem. I memorized myself in every detail of Mocha Ray, staring. The only thing that pulled me from my seekance of the divine was watching a worshipper of it go about her day. That event had only strengthened my love for her.
I had already accepted this love, but I also accepted that a union within law would be near-impossible to achieve. She was holy, I was a replacable solider. Holy women can't marry -- they're married in another way to God. But God, I dreamed of being able to yell my vows every day, fantasized about that beautiful kitty face. I was so caught in that dream at this moment that I hadn't even been able to see the real world, and that she was staring at me with that beautiful, naive face, coming closer, greeting me. That soft voice snapped me away from the dream, jolting my body a bit, position my legs so that it could appear I was looking at religious text and not religious woman.
"And what does one's doings bring them here, Knight?" Knight was not a rare nickname for me, but one used by those who said themselves were close to me. She was close to me. The heartbeat grew with a fiery warmth. Close to me...I'm closer to her, but it always felt seperated by that glass wall of her role, my role.
"...Ah, uh--" Shit. Shit. Say something very normal very fast, sharp mouth!