For all of a starting sentence could be, I am in a relationship with Ms. Morsecode. And I love her! Love her so, so, much.

How We Met

I think I have a habit of falling in love at first sight, which isn't the best of habits, but it happens. Before I actually got to the taskline where you fight the CLO in her source, I wasn't too familiar with her, but my friend Salt had mentioned her once or twice and I just sorta thought she looked cool. That would change after a night of grinding up to the fight, staying up until around midnight to do so, which I almost never do for the sake of a videogame. Something must've possessed me there. Or maybe...?

There's a clip out there, somewhere, of my voice turning into one of adoration as I comment on her idle animation and the way she taps her fingers on something being just...cute. This scary big robot lady rendered in my mind as a source of moe, and I think something short circuited there in the best way possible. Did not take me too long to realize I had feelings. Right after that fight was over, before I went to bed, I was texting a friend I was playing with at that time about the sudden feeling over me when I saw her. It was fear in a way -- a primal fear that I'm sure was her intention -- a feeling that gazed down upon me, that it'd be best to just do what she said or pay the price for stepping out of line. But it was also love, a sudden love for such power that grasped my heart like that, with fear and love.

And I guess ever since then I've just been in those hands since. It probably was a week or two until I considered anything official, though. February 2nd is our anniversary date.

But a fictional character?

I'm not new to this, or the judgement and questions that come with it. I've probably always been some brand of fictosexual since I was younger. In middle school, I spent an entire year carrying around the same plush of a character in public. I consider it an innate part of myself, where any attempt of "fixing" it and trying to go with real people only leads into predators trying to use me for other things. And without my love for 2D, I don't know if I'd really be the same person as I am now. Definetly not as passionate as I am.

Of course, there are some downsides to that sort of thing as dating somebody who isn't real. There is absolutely no physical aspect to any of this that isn't just supplementary. There is the illusion I must put on for others who don't know me as personally as this website gets, where I'm just single and not looking. I'm not single, obviously, because I have her, but to make that open is to make myself a target for so many things. Most days I am able to put all of this aside and just enjoy being with her, but others I am just downtrodden by the simple fact that she isn't real. I'll never be able to hold those cold, metal hands, and that destroys me in the very moment. This love will simply never reach her. She will never know, because she simply doesn't exist on the same plane as us.

But I can believe, and I can love her, and I can show that love and really make the most of it, make her my muse, my partner, my everything, and then...

I just love her the same as anyone else, really.

The Gist of Things

As mentioned, dating a fictional character is very different from flesh and blood. Most of what I consider the meat of this relationship is how I treat Ms. Morsecode as a muse for my art, as well as taking her personal morals as a way to live my own life, as applicable as they could be to someone who isn't, well, an entire lawyer.

What I mean by muse is both just drawing her a lot and changing my style ever so slightly in some sort of imagery to channel. You can view the art I've made of Ms. Morsecode on another one of the sidebars on this website, and I also commission art of her from other artists to monetarily support them and because I like seeing her in other people's styles, as long as they can draw an older woman without removing the old part. I try to use deeper, desaturated colors for things these days, texture overlays, and while I could never know, I do think the art I make would impress her. I also write about her sometimes, mostly one-off drabbles I only send to friends to ponder, but I've done a X Reader fic on another part of my site, and I'll have a headcanons page on this webshrine for some of my own thoughts on her.

I can kinda do dates, too. I have a small plush I take out with me sometimes if I'm going somewhere nice and preferably alone, and I'll just keep her in mind the entire time I'm there. If I go out to eat or anything, I like taking pictures of her with the food. While I haven't had the time to sit down and think about any exact plans for this, I do try and stick to a general sense of what she would want. Museum dates are vastly preferred for the both of us.

Why do you commission and make art of your waifu and the Rainmaker, a canon character, instead of a self-insert of yourself?

Short version: I am the Rainmaker.

Long Version: I always found having an actual 1-on-1 self-insert for myself in my art not very fun. It reveals information about my meatshell, and it makes the art less enjoyable for random strangers who see it and don't know who I am. Combine that with my otherkin fuckery, and I started drawing Diane with what is, well, myself in a way. For some reason, other people in the fandom found the pairing as having potential, and now it's considered a rarepair, I think? Sorry for kickstarting that.

If you would like to know more about a more general sense of how dating a fictional character is, here are some resources for that.

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